Driving record

Thursday, May 29, 2008

♥

I miss you!

Had such a wonderful craving for baby,woke up with a jerk because i felt super super in love and first thing that i wake up,i call her=)

I was really happy yesterday night because before we hung up,you told me to text you the moment i'm awake.
I kinda of love this sentence.=)

My downloads for new songs are finally done!=)
They are all good stuff and the first person i wanna share it with is my baby girl!
So,i spent my entire afternoon trying to fit the little songs into a MMS but failed=(
And than i was really getting excited watching Narnia tommrrow with baby girl
because she wanted to watch it really badly,i couldnt take it!So i went to the toilet
and started grooming myself to prepare for tommrrow=)I wanna look good whenever
i go out with baby because i dont wanna attract anyone else except her.
I need to explain the reason behind this because my baby,Lydia liao simin never
failed to attract me over and over again.
Everytime i meet her,i look at her,i've fallen deeper than a min ago and i'm not
exactly the type whose standards are low and i think she deserve every praise
one's life can get.

i would never be a miser for words to praise her and i'll never worry that her ego is
overwhelming me because i know she deserve every single one of it.

I was waiting eagerly for her call because i know shes busy studying.
Poor baby!Shes sick!
She had a bad tummy ache and now shes resting.
I really really didnt know what to do and i know she needed to rest so inspite of
my ultra urge to talk to her,i let her rest and prayed to god for her speedy recovery.
Now i feel alot better with his presence over her.

i'm gonna retire to my bed now and faster wait for tommrrow's arrival.
=)

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

♥

It feels good to listen to the sound of silence after days of fatigue and extreme mental consuming life.

I just have the sudden urge to blog after two days of heaven with baby girl=)

Time for some self-reflecting where i'll sit alone in front of my computer and recap on the things that i've done this past week.

This sudden felt was aroused by the happy fact that i'm indeed really really lucky.
I need to let this feel off my chest because i feel that i didnt earn all this.
It was by grace and comfort of the lord that i can grow in the love of people around my life.
First person i wanna thank is you mummy.
Bits and pieces of my happiness is contributed through you.
You have no idea how easy and how awesome you've made my life and even with a simple thing like getting along with lydia makes me more than happy.
The two major roles in my life,
Wong sook cheng my mother,who i need to strive harder to obtain good results just to please her,
And Lydia liao simin who i'll do anything to have a future with her.

Well,i may look dumb falling in the hands of two womens but trust me,you have to try it to believe it.
Everything is worth it.
Even a simple thing like seeing my dearest lydia and my mummy communicating,makes me feel like the happier guy on earth.

Thank you mummy and baby for making it possible.


-

On a lighter tone,i met baby for the past 2 days because either i was studying for o's mt or i just miss her.
Actually i was more concern in seeing her than my o's.
Which means that is bad.
I should be studying really hard now.
Which i am but i always believe in time management and baby which i am proud to say is the most understand person on earth which will spend time with me on the study table forcing me to study.
Because of that,I can rest assure that i can manage both my studies and hoaxing my baby girl.=)

-

I have alot on my mind now but i cant seem to jolt them down on this entry.
I feel like hearing baby's voice now.
CIAO><

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

Friday, May 23, 2008

♥

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

♥

Its 2.32 now but i dont feel like sleeping.

I just feel like sitting down in front of my computer typing essays.

I didnt tell anyone about my break-up today because i felt that i'm not exactly sad.
It may be the season where everyone is void of all feelings and i'm not exempted.
I dont feel anything or whatever now.
I just feel that this is a nightmare and i'm waiting for it to end.
I dont dread this feeling,i just dont know how to appreciate it.
Spent the entire time trying to figure out what went wrong or rather what did i do wrong which sums up to this pathetic ending of breaking up.
Its not that we're not suitable for each other or we're not good enough for each other.
Its just that i'm the kind of person who thinks that everything is gonna be okay and just not do anything about it.
Although i refrain very much from running away from the problem and solve it immediately but its just that sometimes things dont just go your way and i didnt exactly perform very nicely today.

I know that lydia is nice,i know that i am so smitten over her.
And its different from all the kind that i had for the past 6 years.
That is why i know that if something that were to happen between us,we only have ourselves to blame.
Love isnt just about being with that special someone.
Love is about giving in to that person even though its hard.
I know losing you is hard.
Knowing that i didnt pamper you enough w/o a chance is even harder.
But right now i just want you to be happy and live life as if that life would be much more happier w/o me.
Because if that is what you want,I'm willing to give it to you.

I once told zad that dont give up this relationship if you know that you still love it.
I love every second with lydia.
I love feeding her after an intricate attempt to pick out the bads of the food.
I love meeting her everyday poning everything that is mundane because i know its all worth it.
I love calling her to whine that soonleng bullys me.
I love making comments that will irritate her because i know that she loves me too.
I love waking up as early as the birds to make a simple lunch box for her.
I love watching movie with her while getting distracted trying to kiss her.
I love listening to the bear over and over again feeling so loved.
I love being yours.
Your and only yours truly.

Somethings got to change but not my love for you.

I need something in my life.
That thing is you.
I'm not a robot without any judgement or whatsoever.
I'm just JJ.
The one that you were once so madly in love with.
And that is not gonna stop just right there because i know this relationship wasn't just granted to me out of nothing.
I know that God gave you to me.
And whatever happens,I'm just gonna keep you close to my heart.

I'll keep you close to my heart.I promise.

Love dont walk away,people do.
But love still dont walk away,so i'll just walk back to it.
I'm not letting myself drown in sorrow.
I know that love is overwhelming me and i know you know it too.

I'm not sad.
I'm just bored of being sad.
Right now,i'm robot cop.
A robot cop void of all feelings,except you.

People walk away but i still remain.
Everyday i take a vow,never to let you disappear.
Disappear from the arms of me.

You may be stubborn but i'm not flexible either.
Love may be tough but i'm keeping it for sure.

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

♥

Events after events,squabbles after squabbles.

Life is not making it any better for me.
Well yup.Had another roll with lydia today which just ends it all.
She called me a while ago to tell me that she wanna break up with me.
Hmmm.

Well i've never loved someone so deepy in my entire life before so i was trying my best to tell her i cannot lost her and stuffs but than it looks like the decision is final and she is really adamant about breaking up with me.

Its really sad to know that even though we're been through alot,it all had to end this way.

i know that i chose my fate with germaine by not fulfilling my role as a bf.
But i certainly know that i didnt choose this ending with lydia.
She was a gift,somewhat too precious for me to lost.
That is why i will stop at no means to change for her or just to even make her happy.
Its really really pointless to cling on to the past now but i just wanna say that i've never regretted us together and i know that you didnt too.
Maybe its just a feeling now maybe the people in china's grief is flowing towards you.
But one thing is for sure,i haven pamper you enough and all the things that you've done for me
is enough for me to love you even more.
This may be the last time that i'm calling you baby but still i wish to tell you that
I love you.
And as fast as time may heal me,i'm not gonna let that happen because deep down inside i know that you are indeed the one for me.
Good luck for your projects.

I'm not exactly sad right now,i just feel the pinch in my heart that i've lost something good.
It might not be true but i know throughout 50 years that are yet to come,i'll only keep my feelings all bottle up for you.
Right now you might think that i'm just talking big but time will tell and i'm not gonna resort to typing things that will make things already harder than it alreadty is.
I'm just gonna say
BABY i love you and i still do.

i'll just hold you close to my heart,i promise.

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

Monday, May 19, 2008

♥

Yes.Its been an awesome day,

Tone was mundane on a typical sunday where everyone is busy sleeping;i was no different.
Slept through the morning and only awoken to a little phone call from baby girl!
Baby asked me out to dota soooo i venture down into kovan and met tabbyryan,junjie and baby!=)

First thing junjie did was to spoke loudly of my helpless habit of taking the school bus=(
It totally sent tabby into a rage of laughter.My gosh.

Found a lan shop and we starting playing.
Before that i saw a box of pokey and i so needed to buy that for baby.
Sooooo after we settled down,i went m.i.a to buy drinks and pokey dovey for baby.
Junjie kept coping her pokey but its okay!we are buddys=)
Won the game with a tight margin because i was lucky and baby was awesome!
Her total kill was the total score of the opposite team.
MAN i've picked up gold.
=)

Wanted to send baby girl to her godma's place but than she didnt want to put me in a hassle so
Nicely gavin went with her.
Before we depart from each other's company,we had a cup of hot chocolate and some nice brownies.=)

-

Went to town to find the awesome lot.
First thing i arrived came a question.You wanna play dota with us?=)
YES>>><<<
I went to collect some stuffs and head back to dota!=)
This seriously some super super fun crap!
I was high on nothing and alex and i started crapping on the chat.
Than we have to part by being on a seperate team even though we got coms next
to each other=( but never mind! we didnt cross each other's path much CEP THE PART WHERE YOU GANG ME WITH YOU BROTHER!=)but its all worth it.Some good shit that i can provide to you and your brother=)

Head over to red chair and started talking and playing truth or dare.
It was awesomely funny because everyone was like INTO the mood and we started talking about everything=)super fun facts!I dont wanna go into the details but it sure was some reminiscing sessons.
GOOD STUFF GOOD STUFF.

Came home,went to bath and rushed to talk to baby on the phone.
I spent 40 mins talking about my life.Poor baby was listening to me talking about my life story=)
Remembered that she needed to wake up early tommrrow for some event in church so i let her rest and here i am=)

-
Food for thought:
My teacher once told me that an analogy.
:"i had 1 boyfriend before my husband,And even though we are having a stable marriage now,that little boy still get sensitive whenever the name pops out and i regret deeply how i wish i didnt had a ex bf"
She pointed out to me a fact which will only derive to you after you've gotten mature enough.
Its not that i'm married now or something but now that i've found lydia,i really dont think there is a possibiliy that i will ever change another gf.Please.I'm determined to marry her.
But how i wish i didnt had such a frivolrous history and i really wish to tell lydia that you are the only one.
It may be typical for someone to get upset when the issue of ex bf and ex gf pops out but i am jj.
Someone who used to be so cool.Someone who didnt think life matter.
But seriously,i do get upset when lydia talks about her ex bf and HONG WEE in this aspect.
That is why even untill now when i heard that shes gonna work with him again,i couldnt handle it like i am suppose to.Talking about trust,i do trust lydia and myself.
I know no one can ever treat her the way i do.
Because i know i've given my best.
But its just that the thought of lydia actually liked him before,kills me inside.
It brings pain to a higher level.
It may seem childish and immature to judge the matter on the surface but when two people of the opposite sex work together,esp when both of them are good-looking,there are bound to be sparks and fire.
I dread the feeling of predicting the outcome and yet not doing anything about it.
I dont wanna be a bad bf who is unreasonable.
All i can say is i dont wanna care now.

Talking back,I really wish i could tell lydia she's been the only one ever in my entire life but shes not.
I had such a history untill i myself wish that i could turn back time.But i cant.
I cant possibily turn back time so all i can do now and will do now is to make sure that she is the only one now.
I'll personally make sure that she is the last one that will ever see the light of my bed in the status of my gf.
She is the only one which i will kneel down and beg for her hand for marriage.
The day we tied the nuptial knot,is the day you see the truth in this post.
i'm not lying,we'll just wait and see.

Baby,although you didnt put my name in your post at the last part where you will tell your husband that he's been the only one.I am confident to put your name there.Even though you had not been the only one,you are now.Because no one can ever make me feel so loved in this life;no one but you.

"I wish I could tell my husband that he's been my only one."

Although i cannot tell you lydia liao that you've been my only one.
I will tell you that You are my only one now,tommrrow and forever.
As corny as it may sound,you will be the one where i will put in the extra mile
to acquire your hand in marriage.
Baby,i am certain that you will be the one.
But lets work together hand in hand.
Hearts linked as one.
Show me that you love being loved.

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

♥

It may be a difficult journey;but i'll make it for sure.
It may be big talk now but at the end,you will be my bride in white gown for sure.Baby.

its been a hell load of hectic and tedious days.
Exams are finally over and i can finally just juggle between play and love.
But nevertheless,theres always time for a cup of zapple and some alone time reflecting on the things that have happen throughout the week.
Sad to end the loquacious tone with this but,i've been going through or rather we as impeciles of relationships had been going through the season of breaking where couples squabble and ending up as friends or worst.Not say that this hasn't happen before but yeah its coming again!
Well we are all naturally humane and i cant say that i am perfect but i just wanna thank god that everything is fine between baby girl and me.
We did have a few squabbles here and there but it didnt eloped into something serious and after every squabble,we just get closer and closer.
I dare to say that my baby girl is the best on earth by always giving in to me,saying sorry even though its not even her fault.
Times and times,i really wish i could ask god why did he bestow me with such a jewel.
And i've been wondering,whether or not i am good enough for her,i will try my very best to cherish this gem because deep down inside the happiness and uncontempted feeling that she had given me is too much for me to forsake.
Just a little whiny thing that i do that will put our relationship on risk,i will not take it.Besides,all the things that she dislike are all nothing but good habits and i can feel myself being a better person all together!
Thank you baby love.
You are indeed the one and only.

Today was another day off from studies and friends as Mr carrot(me=) ) Camp at home to wonder if baby wants to meet me and woola.Yes she did wanna meet me so we met up at tm
to catch a little movie "what happen in vegas".
Awesome plot,awesome actors and best of all,awesome company of babygirl.
Even though the show is exciting and i didnt want to miss any part of it,i still must kiss baby girl.
Shes like the most attractive thing on this planet and i think nothing can keep my eyes off her.Goodness.
Ended the movie with a stunning kiss from her and we decided to head back to my house so she can finish up her project but to no avail because the internet is quite mad.=)
My mother forced lydia to savour some of her dishes and she started hogging my room after dinner talking to baby girl and watching Tom&jerry on cartoon network.
Seeing my baby laughing head over heels at the cartoon makes me feel like the most responsible guy on earth entrusted with the hope of taking care of lydia liao for the rest of her life.
This is just woah woah woah.
I dont think anyone can make you feel that way cep her and you might wanna give it a try but too bad,shes not up for grabs because i'm not sharing this wonderful gem.
:D

Slacked and cuddle a bit before its time to part and she went home to rush out her project and accounts homework.

Ended the wonderful day with a wonderful phonecall which just make the day even sweeter.
Its amazing how much a phone call can mean to anyone but this phone call without any special event just mean so much too me.
It just helped me end the day with a happiness that only god knows now.
Any-oh-how,I wanna take this opportunity to thank god you and you got to know how much you mean to me.
in any terms,Love is the word.
Baby i love you.
I love my ablity to compose essays to make you go @#$%^&*( and all this couldnt have happen without the help of god.
So let us rejoice and serve god together baby.

Life wouldn't be so perfect without you and as corny as it sounds,JJ cant live his happy life without you.
Smile baby because you know that i love you.=)

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

♥

Theres alot to be said and alot to be done lets just get started shall we?
i cant believe i had to be reduce to such a lowly stat where i have to express myself full in a post.

Today is the 10th day that i'm meeting baby girl.Yes.
meeting her is awesome but losing her is equally devastating.
well,Something that can make you so happy can make you so sad too yeah?
dont be mistaken people,i didnt quarrel,argue or break up with lydia.
This kind of scene is (i myself dunno how to explain)

Theres this awful feeling that i wish to get it off my chest.
Very long ago,when me and lydia just started off.I told her that i'm the kind of person who will
certainly win in a cold war because i just cant be bothered.If you want me than find me if not than forget it.
There isnt a point in my life that i lost a cold war before untill you....
What i want is seriously very simple.I want everyone around me to be happy,that is why i am always saying retarded stuffs,doing retarded things to make people laugh.Its not that i am retarded.Its just the feeling when you make someone laugh,it gives you the feel that you're making a difference,you're making another person's life happy.
That is the feeling that i was managing the whole 17 years of my life.
I know i was never selfish and that i am always putting other before my own.
that is something good yeah?but still it brings a joy in my life.

The boys home is a place where scums of this singapore meet and gather.I dare to say that there isnt even a person with good charactor inside.
Somehow,i didnt get any good traits inside but i accidentally jerk a few out.
And one of them include being selfish.

The moment i step out of boys home,i realised the kind of attitude that i brought out.
Everything is for myself.
Everything is doing harm to others and gaining the things i want.
I didnt like that part of me so i revert back my old self.

I am successful.The joy of helping others just come running back to me and once again i am jj.

Being my girl friend,as in a serious girl friend who i put in ligit feelings is somewhat impossible but i manage.
I did manage to find lydia liao who fits the description of everything i want in a girl.
I dunno how to explain what is so special about her but yes she is indeed the one i will give up everything for.
And i did.
tiny whiny bad habits of mine,as long as i think it will cause the depreciation of our relationship,i will kick the habit away.
This thing about being someone you're not.Peharps i was full of bad habits anyway.
But i like being caring.I like being someone who they know they can depend on me.
The reason why i let myself lose in the cold war and makes the first move is just because i wanna let you know i care.I am serious about you.I am not just another 4 month relationship that you had.
Simple small little thing like sending you home,oh i'm one of the few who sends you all the way home?you feel really bad.
BABY love is neutral.
The reason why i even can find the drive to send you home after a wonderful day because the day wont be wonderful w/o you and the kind of feeling that you give to me makes me feel like i'm already asended to heaven.
No one can ever give me this happiness.No one ever will.
That is why you can rest assure that i will not cheat on you because why would i?

Flowers wither and all that is remain is the stalk which is useless without the flower head.
Have you ever wondered what kind of happiness the flower gave to you when its from the person you love the most?
The wonderful feeling that the flower gave to you before it wither?
If a flower can give you this feeling;when the flower wither i'll make sure i buy you another bouquet.
isnt it just that simple baby?
if beautiful relationships like us can give you such unfathomable happiness;when the feeling is fading i'll make sure that none of us give up and renew the feeling.Because i know that this relationship/flower had given me happiness before and the happiness is so great that i dont wanna lose it.

There isnt a point when i regretted loving you.
There isnt a thing that i regretted doing with you.
All i regretted is not to treat you better.
That is why i always allow myself to be reduced to a little boy without any pride.
Because after all what is pride when i can see a smile on your face?
When you're happy,i am happy.
I just hope that i will not be taken for granted.

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

Friday, May 09, 2008

♥

GO GO GO!

A nice term which jia uses to get the adrenaline going for people=)

mundane day started with just me with the utter desperation to sleep!=( so the moment i alighted from the bus,i ko'ed on the bench at the carpark and wonder into my slumber:P
my beauty sleep was abruptly interrupted by my "young" teacher who taught me in sec3
and started her lecture why i shouldnt sleep in the carpark because its a kitchen for freshly
brewed carbon monxide=)

How nice.><
i really wish i could dapao the bench home since its sooo nice to sleep on.

started the examination with much faith that i will do just well because i have chem tuition;
i never felt more confident in my life.A phrase which i use to scared everyone.
I will surely fail chem.
What the freak.
The paper is awesomely hard and almost everyone got the ionic and covalent bond question wrong.
Why on this earth would they choose to let us draw a bond on a chemical i took 10 mins to find
on the P-table.
How sweet.

First thing i did after my paper was to call baby girl because the cohart is taking their own sweet time talk(not like i'm not talking so yeah:P) and everyone was dismissed late.
Feeling irresponsible yesterday,i didnt wanna be irresponsible today so i quickly rush out to give baby girl a morninig call as promised but than baby girl was already awake=)

My dearest baby is pmsing at the moment and i must be by her side for her to whine and rant to me because i am her knight in shinning armour=)
Even like a kind,adorable,caring,beautiful,lovey,considerate person like person can have her day;i wonder what will happen to *** & *** on her period man.Sweet.
But one thing is for sure,i still have a million period with baby girl and what is that compared to her every loving love?=)

LaLaLa.

Qi tai went to hide behind me because he didnt want to go the P.O.A conventional thingy by janet wee and so did i so we both ran and hid behind the huge wall which is the size of hy=)

Head down to seztoh's as usual and have our usual routine of jumping around.This time round,the car was packed with 8 mates including over-sized mates like hy and jh.
-)_(-

hahaha.
played and played and played and went everyone was feeling tired,off we went heading home to toh till tonight where we will meet up again for boating.This is soooo cool.I am serious.
how nice.
A dozen fully grown men seating in the boat admiring the view.
oh man.

I MISS LYDIA LIAO.

HoHoHo.My baby is gonna wear her cedar uniform for a gathering later!i sooo miss that cute sight.
Hmmm.Baby is still pmsing,do you think she will meet me?LaLaLa.

lets us wonder,for now let me get my rightful rest after spending the night thinking about the past week of the wonderful times i spent with baby.

Ciao.><

MAYBE WE'RE MAKING A SHIRT WITH CASEY'S FACE ON HIS PARTY.
HMMMM><

Baby,dont be irritated I love you!.

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

Thursday, May 01, 2008

♥

<3

i am back after a super X100 tiring day but i need to get this feeling off my chest!

JJ is sick of little squabbles that will put our relationship at risk.

Sometimes,all i want is for this happiness to last.

-

i am back from Jasper tan xin da's birthday celebration.Although it didnt work out to be as awesome as last year because of the breaking up of certain groups,i certainly enjoyed myself very much because of the lovely company of baby.
She is nice by accompanying me to celebrate his b'day even though she dont know him well=)

started off the day with a set of exam scripts and than rushed home to change.
knowing that i'll be late,i missed a exciting episode of some loser getting whack but its all worth it when i can get to fetch baby from school and help her carry her bag.

Starting our little journey to town by hitting on the wrong side of the train=)i dunno why but i am really in love with this baby girl judging from the way she lead me to the correct direction that we're suppose to go but yup!=)

Head to P.s for present for jasper tan and settled down for a little cute doll which resemble AHEM.=)=)=)

after that went up to the food court to eat and enjoyed every moment of simplicity.

-

Head down to meet birthday boy and gang and venture into the complicated dota world at parklane.
lost both games but it was worth it because i get to kiss my baby right into the middle of her heart.
i find it really amusing to be able to kiss the love out of her everytime i even get started.=)

started my little childish self once again by hanging on to a dumb remark that she made.How childish.

spoiled 1 hour of our happiness and i realised that i am really really sick of arguments and squabbles over the smallest things on earth.
Told baby that i dont wanna quarrel anymore and we should resume back to the days when we enjoy each other'e company to the max.
Started off with us scaring ven and mic;ended off with me falling down which is sooo ps!=)
ended with us scaring jia which i told baby that he is very easily frightened by before the expression came out of his face,baby already started laughing=)
baby,you just have the ablity to be happy and cheerful even when times are down.
that is what i soooo love.

sooo our epic night started and we were enjoying every single moment of it.

XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?

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