Driving record
Sunday, November 30, 2008
♥
-9:34 AM
It took 2 mins for my account to start loading blogger.
It must be really rusty since i hardly even blog!
Baby came and surprise me at my house yesterday;it was really sweet of her to even find the time to drop by since her exams are nearing and we spent the entire day sleeping.
Head to punggol plaza to satisfy her craving for roast duck noodles but to no avail because of my poor observation skills that PP does not have any roast duck=(
Really dampened my mood.
But baby was nice consoling me that its okay because she is fine with everything.
Had our lunch and i pestered her for a dvd!
The show was terrible,lousy framing,bad plot but it was fine.
baby was in my arms and i enjoyed every moment of it.
In the midst of lazing on my bed,baby sweetly invited me to stay over at her place to supervise her studying anddd to me,it was something which i really love to do so =)head over to her place.
a little childishness and stubborness enveloped us and we were bickering.
I am childish,you were childish.
I stormed out of the house really angry.
And i sent something which probably teared your heart.
So much for promising never to hurt you.
I've failed terribily.
Went home to change,headed out to meet Jasper,Dennis,Chua,Jonny,Nigel,Szetoh and Daryl.
Played some pool,head over to bukit timah to meet jonny hilary and weihoe,blah blah blah thats not the point of this post.
Hilary's house was fun,but i also had alot of time to think,to think about our relationship,our lives,our future together.
The journey,our bond.
I walk down the road,there was plenty of red car plates.But when i look around,there was no one to tap my head.I miss you.
When they were engrossed watching Heroes,I was engrossed too.
Engrossed in reminiscing our past.
I wasn't really sad this time round,you didnt do anything wrong,we were just childish;stubborn.
But it did played a part.
Played a significant role in the conclusion that i've made.
I love you alot honey,i really do.
But it is in my blood that i tend to sweet talk my way out life thinking that i can always exploit gaps for me so sneak in and out.
Even though i told all of them i bickered with you,i was adamant about the part where i wont lost you.
Its different this time round because i was serious.
i wasn't sad,angry.
i was seriously thinkingg about ways to improve this relationship.Our relationship.
Well,i was angry.And all this grief accumlated throughout the days where you're so busy with your projects and didnt have the time for me.
But you work miracles by just one day poping up at my house and making feel that my baby loves me so much.
You have no idea what that little trip meant to me.
You will not understand the urge i kept waiting for you the past few days.
I needed you.
But i suppose im not a very big hearted person.
i was immature enough to be affected by the fact that you're so busy.
but when everything seems to be boiling,i clink on the internet explorer and i saw something which i didnt get to see before we quarrelled.
just a little picture with the hearts joined,a few sentences which says so clearly that i love leong jun jie.
That was when all my anger dissipated and i look back reflecting about how immature and stupid i was to even think that way;say the things which i said.
I really need to grow up,you too.
I'm not facing this alone.
We both need to grow up but i guess i need more.
i have no idea why i always get so lost even when its just a minor setback,
peharps being my gf is really such a tiring chore.
I am not easy to please alright i'm not.
I dunno how to explain this but yeah i truly love you.
Sometimes i am really ashamed to explain my problems to people because they are something so trivial,so small but sadly it affects me as well as you.
Thinking about the days when i was still trying to study for o's.
I guess i couldnt be bothered to be stress,but i remembered the times when i was really stress and i threw my tantrum to you like a little pig,you took it patiently and i took it for granted.
Now its your turn and i'm not doing my part for you.
i feel utterly ashamed of myself,not because you did it once for me,but for the fact that i love you and yet i couldnt take it.
The exams stress,the pms,the everything.
i think i've failed.
Everything that was granted to me with patience and tolerance wafted by as though like duh.
I am terribly sorry baby.
Actually about the letter,it was actually out of playfulness that i wanted to read what was written on the paper,but looking at the way you guarded it.I was really upset about the fact that theres something you're hiding from me.
I dont mean to intrude or invade any of your privacy,i just detest the feeling that i will feel that theres a distance between us.
I dont wanna have to hide something from you.
I dont like the feeling.
And i dont like the feeling when its back on me.
That was what i was thinking the whole way in the room.
And when you came and pacify me in the room,i really didnt mean to make you angry or anything.
i was just thinking that if you dont wanna show me,i wont force it on you and i will not be upset over something so trivial.Everyone has their own little secrets and if its a secret,than i'm fine not knowing it.
I really wasnt thinking about anything else but the fact that you guarded it so safely.
So suspecting but after that,i really thought through it.
i really didnt mean to upset you or anything.
There are sensitive names which upon hearing them with set a awful tinkle in my heart but after all we've been through,i know that i've already stolen your heart and i can rest assured.
Reforms:
Thought through alot of stuff.
And i come to the conclusion that haven been sensitive enough,you haven been sensitive enough.
You always rant about how i didnt woo you at all,how i did this for "" how i did that for ""
The truth is that i would do anything for that moment of countship and maybe then you will realised that you are not just another one of jj's gf.
you're his only one now.
and the league that you holdd is way off the ones that was previously on track.
Since you always think that i never woo you before,i will now.
once again.
You wont have to think about silly and unhappy stuff again tonight baby.
I wont allow you.
Sorry for being such a prick yesterday.
I'm sorry for saying such harsh words.
I will be a better one now.
I willl cherish you hard.
And i hope you will cherish me hard too okay?
I'm not afraid to post this right here Because i'm starting to woo you again.
Would you give me a chance?
XOXO
Sad/happy/angry/me?
Sad/happy/angry/me?